Relationsutras

It is easy to fall in love. But it is a lot harder to stay in love. Maintaining a happy marriage/relationship is the number one problem in the society and in the world today.

counselling

Today most relationships are troubled with conflict and have become a source of pain instead of love and happiness. We are seeing more breakups and divorces than marriages. More singles than couples. More short-term relationships than long-term commitments.

The problem is no one has taught us how to have an emotionally and physically fulfilling and meaningful relationship!

A happy marriage/relationship remains not only what most of us want, but what is actually best for us. Research shows us a lot of positive data associated with happy marriages/relationships. Happily married people have longer lives, fewer illnesses, and higher self-esteem, less stress, more economic stability, and happier children.

The best marriage/relationship for you is probably the one you are in right now! But, just like your body/job/home, your marriage also won’t stay healthy if you neglect it. The need is to devise a ‘wellness program’ to rejuvenate your marriage/relationship and to maintain it as the strong, loving relationship we all want it to be. coach1

Few small tips:

  1. Listen more than you speak: We often are too keen to speak and forget to listen to the other person. Listening and not just hearing while preparing our answers. Listen to the words as well as feelings and emotions behind them. Then you will understand even that which is left unsaid.
  2. Ask more than you assume: We all have a tendency to assume the worst in any situation and about any person, which is usually not the case. So ask questions and get the truth rather than assuming and creating destructive illusions in your mind.
  3. Give more than you receive: We usually get into a relationship in the hope of getting…it maybe love, support, caring, financial stability anything. The other person also comes expecting the same, so no one receives anything as no one is thinking of giving. So both feel cheated. Rather concentrate on giving so both will receive.

If you wish to take a look at your relationships and seek some easy doable solutions, join us for the relationship workshop “Relationsutras”.

For more details contact:

Divine Vibrations

9004699889/divinevibrations444@gmail.com/divinevibrations.in

 

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How can we stop suffering?

How many of us have taken injections in our childhood?
Oh Well !! We all have, haven’t we?
How many of us still hate taking injections? How many avoid? Resist? How many are ready to take medicines thrice a day for a week rather than take 1 injection?

WHY?
Because taking injections is painful. Since childhood we believe and associate it with the most painful experience.
But is it? NO!!

Breaking a bone, menstrual cramps or childbirth are much more painful.
Then why do we jerk or resist the moment we see a needle.
The reason is we are told repeatedly since childhood that it is painful. And pain is not a good thing and we are supposed to resist it. So our mind gets conditioned or programmed that way.
Look at our soldiers, we are so proud of them. Even after being shot at or injured they still keep fighting the enemy. They are conditioned to bear pain.
Similarly in life we face losses in finance, broken relationships, rejection, rudeness, insults, anger, etc. We suffer since we are taught these are unwanted things and should not be in our lives. So we start rejecting and resisting these situations. We are in a constant fight with pain to keep it at bay.
We try to win at all cost. But do we?
NO, We Can’t !!
Just like Newtons law, the more we try to push pain away the more it pushes back. And the more we suffer.
When you are continuously resisting pain, it lingers and will accumulate inside your body, block your chakras, give rise to headaches, migraines, boils, pimples, blackheads, heart attacks and even constipation.
So what can we do?
Just be in the now! Change your definition of pain. It is not something bad to be resisted but something very normal that needs to be accepted. As normal as life itself.
Sometimes even breathing is painful, Do we stop? No!!
So just accept it and welcome it, experience it. If it makes you cry go ahead and cry, if it makes you rant–rant, if it makes you scream–scream, without feeling shy, ashamed or guilty.
So be in the now, not in the past or future where there is no pain. Write all that is hurting you on paper and tear it/ burn it/ flush it.
Experience it fully and then release it. Let Go.
And once you are done, the pain will be gone!

Jokes on Whatsapp and Facebook …or a Mind set?

women jokes Do you find this funny …I don’t !!

The drivers in this crash were actually men !

I am writing this article in great pain. Everyday I receive many jokes and forwards on whatsapp and on Facebook.

There is an increasing trend of the jokes being of a bashing or degrading nature.

Its always about how bad the wives are, how bad women drivers are, women don’t have brains, how talkative women are, how gossipy the women are and so on…

And surprisingly its not only the men posting such jokes its also the women forwarding and posting them.

I would like to ask  both the men and women ..are there no bad husbands? Bad men drivers? Men don’t gossip? In fact we have more cases of abusive husbands, accidents caused due to lousy men drivers and I always find men in big groups sitting in bars or at the paan wala shops gossiping away to glory well into the wee hours.

Why have there never been any jokes regarding this ?

Not that I want that to happen. I am against bashing or degrading of any kind and of anyone ..be it men or women.

When will we stop generalizing? Men are like this , women are like this, all men are dogs, all women are bad drivers, boys will be boys, men want sex and women want love, blah blah..

Excuse me! I have see many men and women who fall in the opposite categories.

Do we understand that these mind sets are creating limitations for ourselves? Women have stopped trusting men, men fear to let a woman drive, men don’t take respecting woman seriously  …do you see these damages as well?

Why do we enjoy belittling others? Does that make us feel more powerful and worthy?

But if we are really powerful and worthy why would we want to degrade anyone else? Wouldn’t we respect their worth?

Are we trying to draw a smaller line next to ours so our line looks bigger than it is?

But why do we feel the need to compare in the first place?

Why cant we love and respect ourselves as unique individuals? And learn to love and respect others as well…just as they are!

Why does downsizing someone make us happy?

Is the increasing independence of women making the men so insecure they are trying to belittle and poke fun at everything they do? women jokes2 Yup ! some men relate it to manhood !! SAD !

Is spreading jokes about bad woman drivers a way of men to deter the women who were planning to learn driving ? They are now doubtful and give up and go back to being husband dependent?

Is it this increasing insecurity that is giving rise to more and more acid attacks, molestations and rapes?

The mindset of few men and sadly some women as well to keep the new women in her place !

If we are forwarding such jokes then we are condoning such behaviour. Do we realize what we are doing? So what are we teaching our sons and daughters?

Its OK for the sons to be disrespectful of the women including their mothers and sisters and the daughters are supposed to bow down to it?

Shouldn’t we stop it here itself in the bud stage, rather than wait for the next rape to happen before we raise our voice?

So please stop forwarding such posts that are not uplifting and degrading in nature  ….even if its supposed to be a joke !!

An insult remains an insult even if said jokingly !

My answer to the movie PK

                                      pk

The movie PK raised many questions regarding the Hindu rituals we perform. Before PK also there was a similar movie called Oh my God (featuring Akshay kumar and Paresh Raval) that had done this. Everyday we see innumerable posts on Facebook and Whatsapp, especially before every festival, raising questions and doubts regarding the Hindu rituals. I am surprised that no questions are raised about any other religion which have more conservative rituals. But that’s another matter and we will leave it for another day.
I appreciate and respect people’s curiosity and concerns. It shows we are a thinking generation and need answers. I am also sure that every generation had rebels who would raise such questions rather than follow blindly, but its sad that till today nobody bothered to answer them and the questions are still continuing.
More surprising is the fact that the rebels never bothered to seek the answers them selves, more so, since the answers were so easy and obvious.
No problem ! Here I will answer 1 question raised in the movie PK that is doing the rounds.
Why do we waste so much water and milk on a stone rather than use it to feed poor and hungry children?
Here again I will emphasise that Hinduism is based on science and all the rituals are scientific and made to sustain not just the human race but also Mother earth. All the rituals have a scientific or ecological reason, only they have never been explained. So obviously the answer to this one is also very reasonable and ecological.
We start from when this ritual was made: the earth and temples were not made of concrete or marble like they are today and the Shiva linga was in direct contact with the earth. So when we poured water or milk it would seep into the earth, thus maintaining the ground water level, and the milk would replenish the 9 most important nutrients like Calcium, Potassium, Vitamin A , D, B12, Riboflavin, Niacin, Magnesium and Phosphorus back to the earth.
When most villages or cities were made, the centre of the village was the temple , around which all the houses were built, wells were dug for drinking water and daily needs and farming activities were carried out near by.
So when water and milk from the temples seeped into the earth it ensured that the future generations got ample supply of clean, clear and fortified water from the village wells. The ground water levels were maintained and thus the crops were also enriched with minerals and vitamins and were very nutritious, organic and healthy. There was no need to artificially fortify anything with chemical additives. And we all know the past generations were more healthy and lasted longer than us. They had lesser instances of thyroid, diabetes, BP, teeth and eye problems than we have today.
The seers of those times who made such rituals were very far-sighted. I agree that they used fear and greed as their tools but it was for a good cause. Unlike today’s so-called saints and seers they never used fear and greed to fill their pockets and create hate. They only concentrated on the collective welfare of the universe and its beings.
They knew the plundering nature of man and his uncaring ways. They knew even then, that man in his greed would destroy the natural resources without bothering about the consequences or the future generations. How right they were…haven’t we done exactly what they had feared?
Thus, they used the same fear and greed in a positive way. They created the fear of God and also created rituals to please them. And they made all the rituals in such a way that the natural resources, animals, plants and ultimately Mother earth and the Universe was taken care of. They knew man would only perform these rituals if they saw some selfish benefit for themselves in doing so. Here again we have proved them right.
So imagine; had that water and milk been fed to the poor of each generation rather than the earth how many people would have survived with it? And today our whole land would be barren and we would be dying of thirst.
But because the natural resources were fortified and replenished, generation after generations have benefited and survived till today.
To take care of the weak and poor section they have made the ritual of “Dana” on all occasions, without which no festival or ceremony is considered complete.
Now you decide what is right.
(comments and thoughts would be appreciated)

The Movie called Life.

movies

When a movie needs to be made; first a story is formed, then the script is written, many characters are created to explain the story in the best possible way. Heroes and heroines are created, villains and vamps are added and finally character or side artists are added to complete the effect. Everyone’s parts are decided, the dialogues are given, locations are decided, and to top it all lots of drama is added to make it interesting and worth watching.

A whole team is created who put in a lot of hard work over months or sometimes years. When the film is completed it reaches the theatres and we watch it . But during those 2 to 3 hours we are totally engrossed in the movie. We laugh with the characters, cry with them, get angry when the villains rape,  rob or steal and cheer loudly when the hero beats the villain.

But once we are outside the theatre we remember the movie only for a few moments or days perhaps, if it was really good. If by chance we meet the villains outside we don’t hate them or beat them. We understand that they were just playing their part in the story and they maybe good people in reality. We know it was just a movie where everyone was acting and nothing should be taken seriously. Only the moral or lesson of the movie should be remembered.

The same is the story of our souls. When we decide to incarnate a new story is formed, a fantastic script is written , different characters are created , the heroes and heroines, the villains and vamps are decided , dialogues are given, some locations are decided and of course a lot of drama is added to make it spicy and interesting. And while we are in the movie of life we too get engrossed in the drama. We laugh , we cry ,  we hate, we get angry…but we need to understand that all the souls are just playing their roles.

Ultimately we are all made from the same divine light. The people we see as villains are just playing their parts as decided. They are not bad souls ..they are loving and pure souls who have just accepted the bad roles to help us complete the movie.

Who doesn’t want to be seen as a hero or heroine? Who wouldn’t want to be  cheered for and thought good about? Who does’t want to be remembered in history as someone who has done good deeds and was great?. It takes a very courageous and loving soul to accept a villainous role and accept to be hated and abused for the rest of his/her life and sometimes decades and centuries.

For example let us look at Lord Rama’s mother; queen Kaikeyi. Yes ! Kaikeyi loved Lord Rama the most and was the most courageous of the three queens. Only she could have made such a big sacrifice for her son. Had she not asked for her boons and send Rama to the forest he would not have been able to fulfil his destiny to meet Hanuman, kill Bali and the entire clan of Ravana. So in spite of knowing that she would be hated for generations to come, she didn’t care for her own reputation and took a bold stand. Instead of hating her we should appreciate and thank her. It was because of her that innocent people were saved from the atrocities and tyranny of Ravana and his family.

Similarly there may be many people  in our lives who have accepted to play the baddie, so that we learn our life’s lessons. Their actions push us towards our destiny or life path that we were born for, but had forgotten. Those actions may look bad or unfair now but will finally lead us to where we are supposed to be.

We all seek our life path but we resist the changes we need to make to get there. We are scared to let go and step out of our comfort zones and detest anyone who pushes us towards it. We hate those people who are disturbing our lives and pushing us in that direction. Where as actually we must love, revere and express our gratitude to these people. Isn’t it?

Just like the movies, in the end  we will realize that everything is artificial and going to be left here. We will only take the lessons with us. All the souls who appeared as good or bad, rich or poor, big or small will all merge in the same divine light. So concentrate on the learning only, not the people or the episodes. Remember they are only trying their best to teach you what you have incarnated to learn. Be grateful,kind and loving to them. They are the ones who love you the most.